Just a Matter of Fact

“I’ve got something to tell you. It makes little difference if I were to tell you now, tomorrow or next week. So I might as well tell you now.”

Why was it that I felt that I knew what was coming along with that statement.

I turned to look. I prepared myself. Maybe, because I already knew what was coming.

“What is it?” I did the only proper thing to do, that is, to let the conversation take its course.

“I’m leaving.”

“oh.. ok..” was all that I said.

“I”ll be moving my things out this weekend.”

Now, even though I had suspected that it would’ve happened all along, I lost my composure for a second. I did not expect things to take that course so soon though!

The one-sided conversation continued on - but I wasn’t truly listening at that point.

I was .. away in my own thoughts.

I forgot to breathe. Seconds flew before I realised that I needed air.

I was soon back to the present. We began to discuss, as I guess we rightly should in such situations, if only for the sake for completion - closure, perhaps, I don’t know.

But you have to talk about such things for a while right? It just seemed like the right thing to do. Well, you know, to ask about each other’s plans after this - the like, if only to be polite?

Neither had much to say after a couple of minutes though. The thing is, we probably both didn't really want to know.. or.. it was just too weird to to do so.

We were, I guess, planned, yet unplanned for it all, that's how it seemed. I mean.. how could we both really have plans ahead of this..

we knew this was coming, somehow - but we didn't, surely, plan it! I guess it was just a matter of time.

Like any other relationship – things run their course.

Silence ensued. Just that usual, simple, stumping silence. The kind that just makes you want to shuffle your feet aimlessly if you were standing, or makes you shift uneasily in your seat if otherwise..

I tried to hum to myself. Is it possible to hum off-tune? Well, I managed it.

“Want to finish the puzzle?” was the best I could come up with after the long silence. I was in the midst of doing the jigsaw puzzle before this, well, conversation started.

And so we sat and tried to finish the puzzle. The puzzle seemed to mimic, or perhaps, mock us. The puzzle was, like us - living our situation. There were just a lot of loose pieces strewn about. They all simply seemed like a carefully torn picture, a picture which was once beautiful, now scattered in what seemed as unrelated little pieces before us.

I had tried initially to do it on my own, putting the pieces together, but didn’t get that far.

and there we were, after all that, trying to put the pieces together - together ……

poetic..

“aren’t you going to do anything?”

I just smiled. “I’ve done the colourful parts. The trees .. they all look the same - after a while...”

Again.. my mind flew. That was how we were all these while. Whatever I began, you would’ve put the finishing touches.

Everything had become a habit, a routine, after a while.

I let a sigh slip. I got up, and said..” I fancy an ice-cream. You want one?”

“I want Swensen’s,” came the reply.“Well.. shall we go then?”

Again, that sounded so typically like how it had always been with us. Always obliging each other... then.

“What about the puzzle?”“Don’t worry about it. It can be finished tomorrow, next week, plenty..”

I stopped myself from continuing.

There was going to be no next week..

We both pretended to not have noticed what I had said. We went off together, as was the norm, though for a while - it seemed strange...

We had dinner, we talked, we laughed, and finished dinner with that much-needed ice-cream. We then said our good-nights.

No mess, no arguments, no tears. No goodbyes. Everything was.. seemed - as they should be.....

just a matter of fact.

At the Bar

“So, tell me, if you’re not interested, why are you still in touch?”

“Because”.

“Oi! Don’t give me that. What do you mean “because”?”

“Just that. Anyway, why shouldn’t I?”

“Because!”

“Hey, that’s my line.”

“No, really. Tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“Why are you still seeing her?”

“Look, why shouldn’t I? I’m not attached, she’s not attached..”

“Don’t you think you might just be leading her on? Like.. she might think there is hope after all?”

“Hey, I’ve made things clear. If she has those thoughts, that’s not my fault, or problem! Besides, for the time being, whenever I need a date or escort to any do, or should I need somebody to go to the movies with, since I hate going alone…”

“You’re a jackass, big time, you know that!”

“Call me whatever, man! I’m still the one for many!”

“Ah shush! Drink up before I pour the drink all over your face!”

“Do that and you’re buying the next! Chill, man. It’s nothing. You think too much. You’re always that “Mr Nice Guy”. Haven’t you learned that gets you nowhere?”

“yeah… I have to say you’re right. But I can hope, that one day..”

“And that, my friend, is when we all say.. “dream on!”. Drink up. You’re so pathetic but you’re my best mate, so I’ll buy another round. Come on. Hey look, 3 o’clock.. babes on the move! Yeah baby! Out of my way, people!”

“Well, you coming or what?”

Another Blind Date

"So, what's he like?"

"He's okay."

"Hey. Wait up. What do you mean, he's okay? C'mon! Spill!"

"That's just it, I'm afraid."

"You're priceless".

"What do you mean?"

"You didn't even try, did you? What did you do? The usual "oh ok" to everything the guy says? Really! And he's one of the better ones!"

"Told you I'm not big on blind dates. You insisted. Me? I had to go along to shut you up, else I wouldn't have heard the last of it."

"You're a bitch, that's what you are!"

"haha, that I am. Come on, coffee's on me,and a dig into a rich, moist chocolate cake is what we need. Calories here we come".

"and quit with the pout already! I'll humour you by going on that next date once you've set it up. Now come along, I'm dying for that sugar buzz."

Over Coffee

"Do you miss him? "

"I don’t know. Maybe. "

"What do you mean maybe? You either do, or you don’t. "

"I guess I haven’t given it much thought. So, the times I do.. I guess, yeah. Other times, no, just doesn’t seem to matter. "

"Why do you do this? "

"Do what? "

"This. Pretending you don’t feel as much as you truly do. "

"Because I don’t. What’s the big deal? "

"Don’t you want to be happy? "

"You’re joking, right? "

"No. why would you say that? "

"What makes you think that I’m unhappy, for God’s sake? "

"Well…. "

"You’re daft, my friend, kind, but daft. I am not unhappy. Haven’t been for a truly long time! "

"So you’re saying you’re happy with your life? With how things are? "

"Aren’t you? Are you? "

"Me? "

"Yes. You. "

"Hey. I’m the one asking the questions here. "

"Ahah. Defensive are we? "

"Oh Shush! You like doing this, twisting and turning things around. "

"Hahahaha! No, really. Sigh. Ok. I am not unhappy, I wouldn’t say that I am absolutely thrilled with life every single day, but for most of the days, I am .. content, pretty much, very contented with life. How’s that? "

"Even with all that has happened? "

"Even more so. "

"You’re strange. "

"Hahaha. Which makes you a stranger creature to want to hang out with me.. and the rest. Now. If all of us were strange, that would make us pretty much normal as amongst ourselves, wouldn’t it? "

"I don’t know why I bother sometimes! "

"Because you love me, my dear, because you love me! "

And hearty laughs ensue, as they usually do.