Just a Matter of Fact

“I’ve got something to tell you. It makes little difference if I were to tell you now, tomorrow or next week. So I might as well tell you now.”

Why was it that I felt that I knew what was coming along with that statement.

I turned to look. I prepared myself. Maybe, because I already knew what was coming.

“What is it?” I did the only proper thing to do, that is, to let the conversation take its course.

“I’m leaving.”

“oh.. ok..” was all that I said.

“I”ll be moving my things out this weekend.”

Now, even though I had suspected that it would’ve happened all along, I lost my composure for a second. I did not expect things to take that course so soon though!

The one-sided conversation continued on - but I wasn’t truly listening at that point.

I was .. away in my own thoughts.

I forgot to breathe. Seconds flew before I realised that I needed air.

I was soon back to the present. We began to discuss, as I guess we rightly should in such situations, if only for the sake for completion - closure, perhaps, I don’t know.

But you have to talk about such things for a while right? It just seemed like the right thing to do. Well, you know, to ask about each other’s plans after this - the like, if only to be polite?

Neither had much to say after a couple of minutes though. The thing is, we probably both didn't really want to know.. or.. it was just too weird to to do so.

We were, I guess, planned, yet unplanned for it all, that's how it seemed. I mean.. how could we both really have plans ahead of this..

we knew this was coming, somehow - but we didn't, surely, plan it! I guess it was just a matter of time.

Like any other relationship – things run their course.

Silence ensued. Just that usual, simple, stumping silence. The kind that just makes you want to shuffle your feet aimlessly if you were standing, or makes you shift uneasily in your seat if otherwise..

I tried to hum to myself. Is it possible to hum off-tune? Well, I managed it.

“Want to finish the puzzle?” was the best I could come up with after the long silence. I was in the midst of doing the jigsaw puzzle before this, well, conversation started.

And so we sat and tried to finish the puzzle. The puzzle seemed to mimic, or perhaps, mock us. The puzzle was, like us - living our situation. There were just a lot of loose pieces strewn about. They all simply seemed like a carefully torn picture, a picture which was once beautiful, now scattered in what seemed as unrelated little pieces before us.

I had tried initially to do it on my own, putting the pieces together, but didn’t get that far.

and there we were, after all that, trying to put the pieces together - together ……

poetic..

“aren’t you going to do anything?”

I just smiled. “I’ve done the colourful parts. The trees .. they all look the same - after a while...”

Again.. my mind flew. That was how we were all these while. Whatever I began, you would’ve put the finishing touches.

Everything had become a habit, a routine, after a while.

I let a sigh slip. I got up, and said..” I fancy an ice-cream. You want one?”

“I want Swensen’s,” came the reply.“Well.. shall we go then?”

Again, that sounded so typically like how it had always been with us. Always obliging each other... then.

“What about the puzzle?”“Don’t worry about it. It can be finished tomorrow, next week, plenty..”

I stopped myself from continuing.

There was going to be no next week..

We both pretended to not have noticed what I had said. We went off together, as was the norm, though for a while - it seemed strange...

We had dinner, we talked, we laughed, and finished dinner with that much-needed ice-cream. We then said our good-nights.

No mess, no arguments, no tears. No goodbyes. Everything was.. seemed - as they should be.....

just a matter of fact.