Why now, why again?

"What is it? What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me again?"

"No. I mean, yes. I am happy to see you, but I wish I hadn't. Not like this..."

"Hush..Don't say that.."

"Look, we were only supposed to meet as friends..."

"BabyI know. But can you deny our feelings, your feelings? We just couldn't help ourselves..it's been too long.It's only because we've just missed each other too much."

"It still doesn't make it right."

"I know. I know. But .. ok.. lets just start afresh, ok? How have you been, really?"

"This is not a game, that you can just say, lets start afresh.."

"I know. I just don't know what else to say. I mean. If I were to say don't make a big thing out of it, it'll make it seem as if it didn't mean anything, but it does.. but at the same time, I don't want us to start arguing as soon as we've met. I've missed you so much, I want to enjoy this time with you, to look at you, your smile.. God knows how I've missed your smile."

"And then what?"

"I don't know. I wish I can say more, promise more."

"Please. No more promises. Don't you think we've had enough of broken ones?"

Another Phone Call

"Hey baby. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Just fine.."

"Merry Christmas!"

"Girl? You there?"

"Don’t call me that."

"Why? What’s wrong?"

"Look, what is it? Why are you calling?"

"It’s the holiday season, honey. And I was thinking of you. I’ve missed you. You said you’d meet me but when I called the last few times before you kept putting things off. "

"I didn’t have the time then."

"Well, what about now? Can we meet? "

"Don’t. Please don’t call me anymore."

"But I need to see you. I’ve missed you".

"I.. Baby? Hello? .. "

How much longer...

“How long must it be? How much longer must we hide our feelings? Why should we care what others say, or think of us?”

“Didn't you hear me?”

“I did.”

“Well?”

“It won't be for too long. Soon enough it will be okay for us to let them know.”

“When?! For how long? You keep saying that. I'm getting tired of our hidden meetings. It's just stupid to do so!”

“I don't know how long this will take. But soon. Soon, we will let them know.”

“I don't want to wait too long. Either we let them all know about us, ... or...”

“Give it just a little while longer. Things will work out for the better, trust me.“

“I do, I do trust you, but you've got to try harder letting them know.”

“It's complicated. you know it is...”

“Only because you make it so. I say we just get on with our lives, the way we want to. The hell with the rest!”

“You know I can't do that.... they're my family.. friends.. I don't want to hurt them, any of them....”

“They'll get hurt anyway.”

“I know.. that's why I want to wait, why I want us to wait. Can we, could you just try to be patient, just a while longer, until the right time comes?”

“There'll never be a right time! And you know that! There is just no such thing as the right time. Not in this case. Just let them know about us and get it done and over with!”

“I will.. I will... I promise... “

“I only wish that I do not love you just too much as I do now.. if I didn't, I would have taken off and left... I've waited too long, I've hanged on to that promise of yours for just a bit too long...”

“I'm sorry, baby. Believe me, I am truly sorry. I hate having to do this to you. But I have to try to be fair to them. I still do love them..”

“Then what about me? Don't you then love me? When will you be fair to me?”

That Evening

"I’ve missed you."

"I said, I’ve missed you."

"I heard you both times. "

"Well? "

"Well, what? "

"Don’t do this to me. "

"And what is it that I am doing to you? "

"You know what I mean. "

"There is nothing left to be said. "

"Please… "

"You're hurting my arms. Let me go. And, from now on, you have to let me go!"

"I can’t. "

"You have too, you did before."

"And you will hold that against me forever, won’t you? "

"Wouldn’t you have?!"

"Don’t… please. Stop…. "

"I have, I did. Long ago. And it’s about time, you did, too…"

Where do we go from here

"What do I do? "
"What is it that you want to do? "

"No. I mean to make her happy. "
"Would doing that make you happy? "

"That’s not the point. "
"That is precisely the point. "

"Can you please help me here instead of confusing me! "
"I am not confusing you, you're already confused. I am clear with things. "

"Where do I stand in your life? "
"You don’t want to know. "

"But I do. .... This is not a laughing matter. What’ so funny?"

"You. What more do you want? You already have it all. "

"And what about you? "

"What about me? I am fine. I always have been. "

"You’re not helping. "

"I cannot help you on this one. I refuse to. If any decision is to be made, it’s on your own accord."

"How could you? "

"And how could .. you?"